Seven years!

Happy Birthday Tyler!  It's been 7 years...hard to believe you are 7!

As I reflect on your birthday today I remember them saying your gonna have a boy.  We were filled with excitement and joy.  Your delivery was a breeze!  My first born and you were here in 5 hours.  Thank you!  From the day your feet hit the floor you were an explorer and that hasn't changed.  You have open my eyes to so many things in my life.

We've had our struggles and obstacles but through it all you still shine bright.  From the diagnosis of epilepsy at 13 months old which was devastating.  I still was unsure what epilepsy was and how it would effect you until I've watched them first hand.  Epilepsy (seizures) are dark demons in which no child or person should ever have to endure.  Then along came another struggle...at 18 months old you stopped eating, stopped smiling, stopped looking at us, stopped playing.  I knew something else was wrong.  I talked with your pediatrician and was sent for a food aversion test.  I met with the OT therapist and did the test and found out you had sensory processing disorder (SPD) but even with that I still felt there was something else there.

After a year wait you were evaluated for Autism at the age of 3.  You were seen by a Dr. Geiger in Danville, KY which was a PH.D Psychologist where she evaluated you on several occasions.  The final evaluation was a 6 hour evaluation with just you and her.  Two weeks after your evaluation I got the call that you indeed had Autism.  I stayed composed while discussing what needed to happen now but once I got off the phone I broke down.  Is this something I caused?  What could I have done differently?  Will he be able to function in society?

Four years later now that you are SEVEN you have shown me that you can do things and you do thrive.  You just do them in a unique way which I love.  Some days are harder than others but you are Tyler and you are the most precious gift a mom could ask for.  I LOVE YOU TATERBUG!!

Set back

We have come a long way with Tyler and his needs.  He was diagnosed with Epilepsy in 2006, Sensory Processing Disorder in 2009, Autism in 2009, Tourette's in 2010, anxiety throughout and the list goes on and on.  I feel like he just can't catch a break at times but then they are days when he's so happy and just like nothing bothers him at all.  These are the days that we all cherish!

Well this weekend I feel like he's having a set back again :(  It's like he's loosing things that he knows how to do and it just kills me.  Just yesterday I told him to have fun at baseball and enjoy it and to just smile.  He looked at me and said "mommy how do you smile?"  That just crushed me!  I showed him how to smile and he said like this and I said yes you look great smiling.  He continued to say okay now I know how to smile.  He's known how to smile but it's like he can't do it anymore.  He's done other things this weekend that makes us step back and think what is going on.  Is he regressing?  I pray everyday for him and that he continues to have strides in communication and trusting people.

Love you Taterbug~

New Journey

I've haven't blogged in quite some time due to the fact of I just didn't have time.  Well I felt like blogging again just because I liked to do it and its a place where I can keep old pictures and memories. 

New Journey or so it says...has to do with our new journey.  Cameron started Kindergarten which is his new journey, Tyler started second grade (yeah I said that right!) and I started a new job after 11 years!!  About time I know.  I had been so unhappy with my job at the Liquor Barn for so many years and finally I found a new job with Palmer Engineering and I really like it!

Working at the Liquor Barn as a Payroll Administrator was stressful and fun at the same time however in the past three to four years it was anything but fun.  It was time to move on and it was the best decision I have made in a long time!!

I have also decided to finish up my teaching certificate therefore I have went back to school starting this month to finish up and become a TEACHER!!  I'M SO EXCITED!!

Wild Children

Not much has been going on here to blog about...but Tyler is still sleeping a lot these days and he's not feeling the best.  He tells me pretty much everyday that he feels bad and that he feels different.  It's difficult to constantly hear him tell me this.  I WISH that I could change that for him and take away anything that makes him feel out of the ordinary.  I hate it!!  We did go to the neurologist for our check-up and they are thinking that he is having intermittent seizures making him feel weird and tired all the time.  If this is true he could be having multiple ones a day!  UGH!!

Cameron has been a stinker lately.  He is all boy!!  He loves guns, Army things, anything that he can destruct.  He's been in Early Start for two years now and is sooo ready for Kindergarten.  His teacher told me that he is so sweet and loves to be helpful in class.  I love that!  Since it is getting closer and closer for him to start school we have been working on his writing and he LOVES it.  Registration is February 13th...hard to believe he is old enough to start school!

Christmas 2011

Christmas this year was exhausting.  Friday night we had Christmas with Troy's parents, Saturday night we had Christmas with my mom and my sister, then of course Santa came on Sunday.  Shew...exhausting.



Exhaustion set in





Shooting at you of course :-)



Sweet face

Rough times

Over the past month it has been one of the most difficult times we have been through.  Tyler is having such a difficult time and we can't put a finger as to why.  He's screaming, crying, yelling you name it he's doing it.  I feel like running and hiding from it all, but I can't.  I have spent many nights just crying and trying to tell myself that I am here for him!  I am the one that will help guide him through life and make him feel like he can do anything that he wants to do!  It's hard but I have to keep telling myself this.  Not only is he doing all of these things he is also sleeping a lot.  Sometimes 2-3 hour naps during the day and he NEVER used to take naps before unless he was sick.  Well on Friday we went to our scheduled appointment with the neurologist and he is thinking that Tyler is having intermittent seizures everyday and weighing on him physically and emotionally.  They have decided to put him on Clonazepam and have referred him to a neuropsych to see how his brain is truly functioning.  Along with being epileptic, having Tourette's, anxiety, and Asperger's syndrome they want to see how he will react under certain situations.  The testing is 6-12 hours!!  It could be an all day thing or a two day thing.  We will be doing the testing at Cincinnati Children's Hospital.  Please pray for him during this difficult time and for us to stay strong and be there for him.

Hmmmm....life!

There has been a lot of things going on lately and I haven't blogged.  Maybe because I really don't know what to talk about or that I don't want to complain about what I go through day in and day out.  My days are full of work, trying to do what's right for my kids, working on my relationship to make it strong as can be, being a good role model....you name it I try to do it and keep the balance.  Here lately I feel as if I'm constantly trying to stay afloat.  I have to stay on the school to make sure they do what they should do for Tyler and all of his needs.  I have to be the peacemaker between Cameron and Tyler since they love to fight and pick at each other.  Having therapy every Wednesday night for Tyler for two hours is mentally exhausting...but I do what I need to do to make everyone in the house calm and together.  Trying to keep it together on the weeks that Troy has been having to go and work out of town...shew it's hard to do it all.  Here lately I find myself crying myself to sleep wondering why!  Why is life so hard for Tyler?  Why Cameron has been cheated on a childhood that should be full of fun and laughter...we have some days but most of the time it's spent working with Tyler.  Friends are gone since it's too hard to deal with our life with an autistic child.  It is hard...try to be in my shoes for 1 day.

Sorry this blog has been a lot of complaining....I just needed to get some of it out.